The Role of the Pastor's Wife has been defined and superimposed into a phenomenon that literally scares most women into a state of defiance and a misunderstanding of the role that she must assume. You never hear the term "a doctor's wife"; " a lawyer's wife" or even a "football player's wife." However, the pastor's wife is always defined universally in this way. Some pastor's wives have stated on numerous occasions "I AM LIVING IN A FISHBOWL" and I don't like it. Well it is true that you are on public display all of the time. However, many of us just want to be ourselves.
The key is to be you. I have yet to meet a wife of a pastor that was excited about their role as a pastor’s wife. Many are called after they are married to serve with their husbands. I have heard some wives say that "God called him, but he didn't call me!" There have been many marriages suffer, because the call was on the husband and the wife refused to heed the call. In the dating arena, many women dated seminary students, ministers or pastors. There are some women who really didn't know what they were getting into with their significant other and as a result, they weren't ready for was the innate responsibilities that are imminent when you become the wife of a pastor. It has taken many women a lifetime to adjust to the role of becoming a pastor’s wife. Some begrudgingly hiss for years sentiments of discomfort and roll their eyes almost to the point of needing the assistance of an ophthalmologist under their colorful masks. This is due to not being able to openly share your feelings . Wives of pastors need to feel safe when sharing concerns and someone besides their husbands should be available to help them ease the burden.
You should not be define by what others think you should be doing for the ministry, but what God calls you to do. Your gifts are to be used to serve in the kingdom of God and to help others. If you don't know what your gifts are, you should think of the things that you do best. What do you enjoy? Also, taking a gifts assessment will help you discover known gifts and those that are not visible to you. Find your niche and apply them to in the ministry. God has placed all of us on this earth for a purpose. Pastor Rick Warren of the Saddleback Church states in his book, The Purpose Driven Life, " You are not an accident." You are here for a reason. Ask God to reveal your purpose and if you listen carefully and with an open mind, He will reveal your purpose to you. Bishop T.D. Jake's wrote a book entitled, God's Leading Lady, Out of the Shadows and into the Light. He also states that you must step out of the shadows and into the spotlight. The basis of this book is to empower women to be what God has purpose you to be. If you are a child of God, you’re already illuminated. Therefore, the lights are shining and you should already know that you are living a transparent life.
God chose you to be the helpmeet of your husband. This is an honor that is not bestowed just upon anyone. You were appointed and anointed well before you even realized it. Some of you are in families that have a great legacy of pastors and pastor’s wives. I am carrying on the legacy of my family as a wife of a pastor. You can truly believe that I was not aspiring to be a pastor’s wife, but I heard the call and accepted it graciously and with honor. It has not been easy, but the rewards have been many.
Serving in the ministry with my husband is a blessing. I am happy that Our Father chose me even before my parent’s thought of me. The road is filled with bumps and curves, but if you have a great navigator and I do, you will be able to negotiate and stay on the road, which will eventually lead you to your great reward in Heaven. Just think of Jesus as your "On Star" button. you can press it anytime and receive the help that you need.
The key is to be you. I have yet to meet a wife of a pastor that was excited about their role as a pastor’s wife. Many are called after they are married to serve with their husbands. I have heard some wives say that "God called him, but he didn't call me!" There have been many marriages suffer, because the call was on the husband and the wife refused to heed the call. In the dating arena, many women dated seminary students, ministers or pastors. There are some women who really didn't know what they were getting into with their significant other and as a result, they weren't ready for was the innate responsibilities that are imminent when you become the wife of a pastor. It has taken many women a lifetime to adjust to the role of becoming a pastor’s wife. Some begrudgingly hiss for years sentiments of discomfort and roll their eyes almost to the point of needing the assistance of an ophthalmologist under their colorful masks. This is due to not being able to openly share your feelings . Wives of pastors need to feel safe when sharing concerns and someone besides their husbands should be available to help them ease the burden.
You should not be define by what others think you should be doing for the ministry, but what God calls you to do. Your gifts are to be used to serve in the kingdom of God and to help others. If you don't know what your gifts are, you should think of the things that you do best. What do you enjoy? Also, taking a gifts assessment will help you discover known gifts and those that are not visible to you. Find your niche and apply them to in the ministry. God has placed all of us on this earth for a purpose. Pastor Rick Warren of the Saddleback Church states in his book, The Purpose Driven Life, " You are not an accident." You are here for a reason. Ask God to reveal your purpose and if you listen carefully and with an open mind, He will reveal your purpose to you. Bishop T.D. Jake's wrote a book entitled, God's Leading Lady, Out of the Shadows and into the Light. He also states that you must step out of the shadows and into the spotlight. The basis of this book is to empower women to be what God has purpose you to be. If you are a child of God, you’re already illuminated. Therefore, the lights are shining and you should already know that you are living a transparent life.
God chose you to be the helpmeet of your husband. This is an honor that is not bestowed just upon anyone. You were appointed and anointed well before you even realized it. Some of you are in families that have a great legacy of pastors and pastor’s wives. I am carrying on the legacy of my family as a wife of a pastor. You can truly believe that I was not aspiring to be a pastor’s wife, but I heard the call and accepted it graciously and with honor. It has not been easy, but the rewards have been many.
Serving in the ministry with my husband is a blessing. I am happy that Our Father chose me even before my parent’s thought of me. The road is filled with bumps and curves, but if you have a great navigator and I do, you will be able to negotiate and stay on the road, which will eventually lead you to your great reward in Heaven. Just think of Jesus as your "On Star" button. you can press it anytime and receive the help that you need.
